This week I did one thing that felt presumably a bit batshit loopy and stayed, alone, in a treehouse within the woods. I do know. The one who will get spooked in her personal backyard.
It’s testomony to simply how desperately I wanted to take away myself from all noise and distraction (impending deadline that I nonetheless can’t discuss) that I ventured out into the wilds alone, risking potential Blair Witch Undertaking-style situations and with solely a small pair of nail scissors and a laptop computer charging cable (makeshift garrote) for cover. As somebody who barricades their resort door from the within, even when there’s a reception desk two flooring down and a twenty-four hour concierge, I can’t fairly imagine that I willingly took myself off to the wilderness.
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However look; I’ve made all of this sound a bit creepy. Clear your minds of the Blair Witch stuff, it was only a little bit of drama for the intro, for this treehouse, one of many Skylark Treehouses at KIP hideaways, was simply one of the phenomenally enjoyable, superbly secluded locations that I’ve ever stayed. Anyplace.
Should you crave solitude, in the event you lengthy for the sound of birdsong and the rustling of the bushes, neglect the resort break: two nights right here, with the out of doors tub and the on-deck hearth pit and the key walkway that weaves by the woods…two nights right here and it’s as if you’ve had some type of thoughts and soul reset. Three nights and also you neglect that there’s the rest on the market, on this planet. You understand while you simply have completely nothing to do? And there’s nothing you can do? So that you simply develop into kind of inert, as if you’re operating on standby mode quite than really switched on?
That’s how Skylark made me really feel. And keep in mind, please, that it made me really feel like this regardless of the very fact I used to be knocking out 4 thousand phrases a day on my laptop computer, mainlining natural tea and solely sometimes getting as much as have a shake and a stretch. In precise reality it was the proper place to plough by my wordcount for the deadline-I-can’t-mention-yet as a result of it was simply so utterly, superbly silent.
And although half of the treehouse was completely open-air, together with an incredible – very photogenic – out of doors kitchen and the aforementioned bathtub and deck, the bed room and bathe room had been totally enclosed in a hyper-insulated, hermetically-sealed pod. Large home windows all over the place, large cozy mattress, however a correct secure little (totally lockable) hotel-style room with a kitchenette (tea, espresso, oven) and massive walk-in bathe in addition to one of many best-placed bits of loo glazing I’ve seen, excessive up on the wall in order that it framed the bushes outdoors however retained complete privateness.
On the privateness factor: there are different treehouses (six homes altogether) however they’re fairly far aside. On arrival, my coronary heart did sink after I heard the faint, dulcet tones of another person’s kids (as a result of who needs to listen to different individuals’s kids after they’re attempting to loosen up?) however after I leaned proper out to attempt to spot them and maybe scare them off with an evil glare the treehouse they had been in, my nearest neighbour, was actually fairly distant. The truth is you may inform how distant every one is as a result of the parking areas on the lane, two for every home, are properly spaced-out.
Right here’s the way it goes: you arrive to Skylark Treehouses through the doorway lane after which the parking for every treehouse is signposted with somewhat emblem. (They ship you all the data by e-mail earlier than you arrive.) Every little automotive park has an electrical charging level, which is massively helpful in the event you’re an electrical car-haver and wish to recharge while you keep. (I’m a brand new electrical car-haver and nonetheless getting used to the truth that you may’t simply pull into any previous petrol station and replenish; having a charger at your vacation spot simply appears to be the last word, world-changing comfort at this level in my life. Extra thrilling, I feel, than even an outside tub.)
A personal walkway takes you down, Swallows and Amazons fashion, to the doorway of your treehouse (which is lockable, and lit) and the door opens onto essentially the most beautiful little out of doors camp, excessive up within the bushes, completely non-public and with a roof over the dwelling bits in order that it may be always in use. After I say camp, that is nothing like tenting; it’s tenting, I suppose, for these (hi there!) who love the scent of the outside and like being surrounded by nature however who don’t wish to get trench foot and should be inside ten metres of a completely flushing rest room always. It seems like the agricultural treehouse/tenting idyll, although a model of it you’d discover in Vogue, but it surely acts like a luxurious resort. All the greatest supplies, costly home equipment, a bin with buttons to open and shut (God how simply happy am I?) and that sensible, show-stopping out of doors tub. With solely the cows within the area to witness your soak.
There’s a woodburner contained in the sleeping suite, in addition to radiators, so I’m fairly certain this place could be toasty as something within the wintery months, however in summer season it’s doorways thrown huge open and out of doors hearth pit on, only for the atmosphere, in the event you fancy it. I didn’t, as a result of I used to be there alone and I’m an everlasting catastrophiser and imagined myself unintentionally setting hearth to my very own hair and never having anybody to assist put it out. Nonetheless, it was good sitting there and listening to the near-silence, as soon as the birds had gone to sleep. With my Brixham Harbour fish pie, one of many ready-to-oven freshly-made meals the individuals at Skylark can ship to your treehouse to your arrival. It was scrumptious. And massively welcome as I’d determined prematurely that I didn’t wish to need to cook dinner, as a result of it will have been simply one other distraction, and so it saved me from consuming muesli for dinner three nights in a row.
So to recap: you need absolute peace and quiet. You need the luxurious really feel and a spotlight to element {that a} resort would possibly give, however you need one thing extra secluded and personal. You like the thought of a camp-style break however desire a good mattress, full plumbing and no sense of damp. You need the ever-Instagrammable “tub below the celebs” however don’t wish to hear one other soul while you lie in it and – lastly – you wish to benefit from the outdoor however really feel secure and safe.
Bingo! I don’t assume anybody would remorse a few nights right here for a complete reset. What I appreciated most was their very stern guidelines contract that you simply needed to comply with and signal, promising to not make noise and to respect different visitors. Bloody sensible. You actually do really feel as if you’re the one visitors there – and it was totally booked on the nights that I stayed.
Costs? From £250 per night time. Possibly barely greater than you’d count on in the event you went “glamping”, however this totally just isn’t glamping. It’s a full resort suite that’s utterly non-public, with the advantage of a giant out of doors house that can be utilized all 12 months spherical. (There’s heating above the eating desk and the entire house is considerately lit.) It’s nowhere close to as costly as a luxurious resort suite however that’s what I’d examine it to; though the supplies contained in the sealed sleeping space had been left fairly rustic and pure, simply one of many many eco-measures right here, the fixtures and fittings had been of the very best high quality and no expense had been spared.
Had I not stayed alone, I genuinely assume that it will have been tough to ever depart. In precise reality, I booked one other night time on the top of my two night time evaluation keep, so I feel that claims all of it. The mad factor was, I didn’t even enterprise out of the treehouse. I couldn’t let you know what was half a mile in any route, even an eighth of a mile. I simply wrote and wrote and wrote. In my escape pod. Which is precisely what it was.
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